Payday. Not as much as I expected, not near as much as is needed. With a sigh I plop down in front of the computer. With a resigned click Quicken’s obnoxiously cheerful chirp greets me. I start subtracting out the monthly bills. There goes rent, daycare and utilities. Bye-bye money. Next up is payment for my husband’s student loans, internet bill, and car insurance. Last is the phone bill, smallest of those monthly recurring fees, so I save it to the end in an attempt to cheer me up. Oh and then there’s tithing.* Good ol’ Mormondom.

And what am I left with?


Eighty-eight dollars and forty-eight cents until the next paycheck.

How am I supposed to pay the fees for all those secondaries?** These darn med school application process is killing me. Hesitantly I look to the left, where the list of secondaries sits waiting for me. It adds up to $1,255 in secondary fees. (That’s for 13 schools, by the way.)

I tell you I better get in. I’m not going into debt to now have it all pay out in the end. Yes, I’m going into to debt, just to apply. I’m getting a little jaded about this process. It is making it so hard for someone whose parents aren’t doctors to jump through all these hoops.

59.7 % of medical student’s parents have a six figure income. The average income of a med student’s parents is $164.485!*** One if five students have parents who brought home a quarter of a million dollars, every year. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not because it just so happens that the upper class feels such a great burning desire to help others, even more so than another demographic. No, it’s because they are the only ones who can afford to go to (or let alone apply to) medical school. It is wrong.

When filling out the applications I came across the question “Have you adequate financial resources to attend medical school?” I snort, laugh a little nervously and click no. I would’ve clicked no-freakin’-way, but that wasn’t an option.


*As a Mormon we give 10% of our income to the Church. Sort of like the Protestant collection plate, just with a defined number, and we discreetly hand it to our Bishop in an envelope.

**A small part of me is worried at the fact that my first thought is how am I going to pay for the secondary fees, not how am I going to buy groceries for my family of three. But seriously those fees are expensive. I can pull groceries off, I think.

***All of the statistics I quote come from my lovely MSAR, which is admittedly a year old, but I doubt it’s changed that much in the past year.


Who am I? I’m Jean Valjean!

Okay, I’m really not Jean Valjean. For starters, I can’t sing. I figured it’s the third post now, so perhaps I should introduce myself. I’m Joleyne, a young adult of the female variety. I reside in Utah with my small family unit, which consists of a spouse called Blake, and a small child formally referred to as Ellie, but often affectionately called Baby Girl.  This blog is my attempt to balance all the different parts of who I am.

Mother: I am a mother to one adorable toddler.  My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the center of my whole world. As such, there will obviously be some Mommy blog infusions into this blog. Don’t worry though, there isn’t going to be any arguments over what brand of stroller is best, or how what color you paint the nursery is going to shape your child’s psyche for life. I’m fairly laid back in my parenting. I’ve noticed most people tend to do fine and wind up being generally good and decent people; regardless of whether they first heard Mozart in utero or in college.

Marriage: Of course the part where I am a mother implies that the child has a father. We have a pretty happy marriage, the boat does get rocked occasionally, as any paring of two people does. Honestly more than occasionally, pretty darn frequently. I love my husband so much, but by golly, sometimes he just annoys the crap out of me…and I may not be the easiest person to live with either.

Mormon: This blog isn’t the stereotypical Mormon blog. Isn’t going to full of shiny happiness, all about how I’m oozing with love for the Church. Yes, I am a Mormon and I’m not planning on changing that, but sometimes I overtaken in confusion. I have plenty of issues with my religion and the culture it creates. I’m not a Molly Mormon, who believes my destiny is to be a stay at home Mom, spending my days crafting and changing diapers. Despite this I genuinely believe the gospel doctrine the Church teaches and I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. And so I am trying to figure out how to balance this roller coaster relationship I have with my religion. My Mormonism also means I have my own little dialect, so forgive me if I forget that sometimes other people have idea what I’m talking about.

Medicine: Well, technically it’s pre-medicine, but I had to go with the M alliteration theme here.  I am a pre-med student, who is applying to Medical School right now. Hopefully this blog will document the success, and not the utter failure, of this endeavor. This endeavor might also be the reason this blog dies, since it keeps me busy and stressed at all times.

Me: Lastly, buried beneath all of that is me, somewhere. I’m still trying to find most of this me bit. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately, prompted a lot by what I’ve mentioned above. What I’ve found so far is that I’m a feminist, obstinate, very outspoken, occasionally impetuous and also immensely shy and reserved. I’m a jeans, t-shirt, ponytail type of girl, but I do have moments where pure girlishness shines through. I’m fairly bookish, and I’m hoping that blogging will help me expand my creative side some, so that scrapbooking isn’t the only exercise the right side of my brain gets. I’m a farm-raised, small town girl who is very afraid of big cities. I a bit of a nerd. It has taken a lot to get me to admit that, so be happy with the “bit” even though that’s (possibly) a large understatement. I believe in hard work, perseverance, living in the moment and enjoying the life’s journey.

Now we will return to the not so regularly scheduled program of posts. Feel free to return to Facebook. (Look how nice I am, I even linked you back to it.)


While putting away dishes my husband makes a dirty joke referring to my, shall I dare say,  rather large breasts. I retort by lightly slapping him.

Him: You can’t hit me!

Me: Yes I can. Girls can slap guys.

Him: No they can’t. That’s a double standard.

Me: Yes they can. Girls can slap guys when they something innappropriate.

Him: Well, what do guys do then when girls say something inappropriate?

Me: They get turned on.

Him: ….*pause*…

Him: Touche.

Yeah, that’s right.

Hello World!

Apparently when you start a blog at Word Press there is a default post with the title Hello World, and then basic instructions on writing a post. The title made me think of the Lady Antebellum song by the same name. I had never really liked that song, though I am a big fan of Lady Antebellum. Well, that title inspired me to go look up the music video for the song.

And now I love the song. Suddenly I relate to it so much more. I get the message – take the time to stop and enjoy life, hug your family, smell the roses, soak in the happy moments, appreciate what the world has given you. The problem with having a child is that suddenly every child in a video becomes your child. It doesn’t matter that my child is 2, and the girl in the video is around 7 (I’m wildly guessing on that age). I can’t help but think about what if that was my daughter. It’s the same with any show I watch. It doesn’t just tug at my heart strings, it yanks. That short video had my eyes watering, and yes I went and hugged my daughter right after watching it.

Speaking of Lady Antebellum I love their latest single, Just a Kiss. It makes me laugh so hard. I feel like it’s the Mormon Dating Anthem. The whole idea of waiting for someone your whole life, sexual restraint bringing you closer, pushing too far messing things up, and being okay with just a kiss. It’s like all the Youth lectures on the all important Chastity rolled into one catchy, Disney-happy song.

Well I guess that’s my first post, all about Lady A. Well, to round it completely out I’ll leave with my favorite song of theirs, Need You Know. The harmony of their voices is just beautiful and haunting.

Now Goodbye World!

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